why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
this hospital has no fireball
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
