i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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