if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
