he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
