Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
