Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
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I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
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Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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