no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize