I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My pussy is not your playground.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
