He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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