dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
so much tequila, so little girl.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
