the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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