one two three fourrrrnication!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
