I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
