My liver just broke up with me...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize