I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize