I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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