Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
