Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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