and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
