I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
