haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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