just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
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he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
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My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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