ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
