in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
