so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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