Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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