He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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