i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I want you more than these girls want KFC
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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