He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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