Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
