i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
