In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
