12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize