Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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