but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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