I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize