I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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