i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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