She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
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she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
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The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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