My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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