She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
my liver is dry heaving
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
