what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
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he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
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Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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