I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
