i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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