'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
