there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
