OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
