so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
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theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
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We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.