i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!