I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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