Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?