This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
