Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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