My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize