i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
