I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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