I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
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who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
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I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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