a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
