thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
