i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
